Let’s talk about sex!

So far I have discussed in detail how circumcision can affect a newborn baby boy as well as the psychological implications on them when they grow into men. I have avoided discussing the sexual aspects and ramifications of circumcision but would like to touch briefly on that subject now. As I have said in previous posts, I don’t know if I’ve had sex with an intact man. All I know is that my husband is circumcised, so that is my most recent experience. The man from my past who may or may not be cut was over 20 years ago, so that’s a distant but pleasant memory.

While I will not be explicit and give every detail of my personal sexual experience, I will give examples of stories I have read mixed in with my own anecdotes. So be forewarned that this should not be read with children present.

Since circumcised penises have been normal and expected throughout my sexual history, it never occurred to me that I was missing out on something…but I was and probably will for the rest of my life with a cut man. Is it all bad? No, of course not. My husband and I have had some really good sex, some much better than others. The point is that it would be much better had he been left intact. Sex was definitely better in the beginning of our relationship than it has been the last year or so. Of course his age and loss of sensitivity could have a lot to do with that. Is it so strange that while the USA has one of the highest circumcised rates in the world, we also have the highest percentage of men on Viagra?

It was only a few years ago that I realized that women could have internal orgasms. Of course they are nearly unheard of with cut men, but apparently are quite common with intact men. The gliding action of the foreskin rubs against just the right spots and takes women to their peak faster and more often. Ever heard of multiple orgasms? If you’ve only been with cut men, you’ve probably never experienced one without the help of a vibrator.

Circumcised men can only feel pleasure in and around the head of their penis. Having lost half their penile skin and all those enriched pleasure nerves, they can only feel pleasure at the scar, the glans and what is left of their frenulum. Since the tightest area of a woman’s vagina is within the first two inches, many cut men furiously pump close to the surface to get that necessary friction. What they don’t seem to realize is that this does next to nothing for us women, and it can hurt, especially if they pull out too far and clumsily try to ram back inside. Talk about killing the mood.

Many women claim it’s more intimate making love to an intact man, since his full body can make contact with the women he is having sex with. Cut men pull back so they can get a good grip and position for their lunge and parry, and this causes a separation and distance between the lovers. Intact men can take their time, build up a rhythm and drive their women crazy with desire. Cut men are like a locomotive, building up steam, pumping faster and faster until all they can think of is to keep up just the right pressure to get them to climax. They can’t help it though, since they were robbed of the important part (foreskin) of their penis that allows them to pace themselves and enjoy the sex itself almost as much as the climax, AND to make sure the woman enjoys it too.

Men don’t realize how many times women are left feeling cheated after sex. They finish before the women reach their peak. Cut men can’t help that though, since they don’t have their foreskin, which allows them to slow down when they need to without stopping the pleasure, allowing their women to catch up and even pass them by. Cut men either have trouble reaching climax or get there too soon. If they have enough experience, they might be better at holding off on their pleasure until she has hers, but is it experience or loss of sensitivity?

I think there is a fine line between the two for circumcised men. The older a cut man gets, the more keratanization has occurred to his penis. This means that the remaining pleasure nerves he has are becoming tougher as he ages. This means that it takes even more pressure and friction for him to reach climax. For some men it means they cannot orgasm no matter how hard they try. Is it no surprise why cut men prefer oral sex to intercourse? It appears from my research that intact men are more likely to prefer the opposite, since they do not require the extra oral pressure to achieve climax.

So while I’m normally telling mothers not to circumcise their babies because it alters their brains forever and/or could make them bitter or violent men, this goes out to all you women who post on twitter that you want nothing to do with an intact man. For every man you reject because he is whole, you are cheating yourself. Not only could he be Mr. Right, he probably would treat you better than a man who may or may not have deep seated resentments of all women. Believe me, cut men can stink too if they don’t shower before sex. If you’re so worried about having sex with an intact man, take a shower before hand. I’m sure he won’t mind you washing his willy! And believe it or not, the skin on his penis can be just as clean as the skin on his lips. Do you make your men brush their teeth and gargle before you kiss them? Then why make them jump through hoops before sex? If you’re going to judge them for what’s in their shorts, it’s doubtful you know them that well, so use a condom. That way it doesn’t matter how clean it is, and intact men are more likely to wear them. Cut men don’t like to use condoms, since it cuts down on what they can feel. Think about that one the next time you turn down a cute guy.

Mothers, do not leave circumcision decision to the fathers!

Why do I say this? Because I used to feel this way. I had done some research before I had my son. Before he was born, I felt I should let my husband decide on the circumcision, since he is the one with the penis. He is circumcised, so his natural response was that he wanted our son circumcised. I asked why he felt that way, and he didn’t have an answer. Of course this conversation was before I had become an intactivist and had done all the research I have since done. I now know that infant circumcision can permanently alter a baby’s brain. He can lose his ability to feel emotions and might even become a violent man. Circumcised men lost something when they lost their foreskin, but they don’t know the extent of what they lost. When a cut man wants his son cut, it isn’t so the boy will look like him, it is so he will feel like him. After all, what two penises look alike? What man really knows what his father’s penis looks like? And wouldn’t the child be more likely to notice that his father’s penis is bigger, and it has hair on it?

This horrible practice makes for a violent cycle of abuse that will continue until someone stops it. In our family I was the one who stopped it, and it is up to the mothers who are married to cut men to make the ultimate decision. Do not let your husbands decide on circumcision, since it is usually impossible for them to make an objective assessment. Of course this doesn’t include the men who are victims of botched circumcisions or those who are enlightened and realize the damage done to them. Those who were cut as babies never had their foreskins, so unless there are problems how could they be objective? Of course there are exceptions to this, but they are rare.

If your husband was circumcised later in life, his opinion might be less swayed by psychological issues. I say might because it is still possible his parents didn’t know how to deal with an intact child and forcibly retracted his foreskin. This has been proven to cause most if not all problems that ultimately result in children/men getting circumcisions later in life. The foreskin on a child who has yet to reach puberty should not be retracted by anyone other than the child himself. His penis is meant to be an internal organ until the foreskin detaches itself from the glans (head). Anyone who forces it back (no matter who tells the parent to do this, even a doctor) can tear the foreskin, causing infections and adhesions. Just leave it alone. Your son playing with it will eventually get it to loosen so that he can someday retract it all the way.

Let’s say your husband didn’t have any issues with forcible retraction but was one of the rare men who either had a tight frenulum or overly long foreskin, so he chose to circumcise himself as an adult. The best argument a woman can give to a man like this is to remind him that he chose that surgery himself, and shouldn’t his son be shown the same courtesy? Just because your husband had these issues does not mean his son will. Who is to say he won’t have a short foreskin, so removing any of it could result in painful erections or pulling skin from his pelvis to make up for what he lost.

There is no good reason to remove a baby’s foreskin. Every argument the pro-cutters use to persuade parents to cut can be disputed. UTI’s are not decreased that much, if at all. Forcible retractions account for more UTI’s than the foreskin itself. if a child is left alone, his chances are the same as any cut boy. STD’s? Really? Will your boy be having sex, or should that decision be left until he’s older when you can tell him to use condoms and not sleep around? The surgery might be more invasive the older he gets, but the older he gets the less likely he will need or want to be circumcised. The thing that most new parents seem to have a hard time grasping is that circumcision is not natural. It is not needed or necessary. It is harmful, painful and totally cosmetic surgery that you are subjecting your newborn baby to.

Circumcision can interfere with maternal bonding and could lead to his resentment of all women. Just remember that when a baby is born, he doesn’t know or care who his father is. His whole world revolves around his mother. So if he is hurt so soon after birth, his mother let it happen, no matter who ultimately decided on the circumcision. The mother will take the blame. And even though that boy will grow to become a man without the actual memory of that torture, it is permanently etched in his body and brain.

All parents want their kids to be happy, and they want the best for them. Prove it by starting your son’s life off the way you would start off your daughter’s. Take both home intact, the way they were born, and the way they were meant to remain. One last thing I wanted to add is that this post does not mean that men should not have a say in what is done to their sons. I’m only trying to say that a woman who does not want her son cut should not just wash her hands of the whole decision and let her cut husband make the final decision. If you let your son be circumcised, and there are any of the above mentioned problems, you WILL regret it the rest of your life. Nothing can happen to an intact boy that will make you regret your decision to keep him whole. Yes, he might have problems or infections, but they won’t be any more severe than what could happen naturally to an intact girl. All I ask is that a woman opposed to circumcision needs to fight for her son, since he cannot fight for himself.

How infant circumcision affects everyone!

I’ve had to deal with a lot of ignorant people on twitter. Besides the usual arguments for circumcision, the one that stands out the most is this one, “it’s my child, not yours, so mind your own business.” I’ve heard this one so much that I decided to write a rebuttal to it. I’m going to tell you ignorant parents who think this the reasons why it’s my business as well as everyone else’s.

Due to the fact that infant circumcision has wormed its way into the American culture, most doctors are not taught about the foreskin. That means that they don’t know how important it is or how to care for an intact baby boy. Medical books have diagrams of the human penis without a foreskin, as if all males are supposed to be born that way. People are so painfully brainwashed against the foreskin, they have begun to believe it is a birth defect that needs to be removed as soon as possible.

All that makes it really hard for the doctors who are trained on what the foreskin is and does to educate others. The loudest voice is usually heard, and those ignorant voices incorrectly tell parents to retract their babies’ foreskins and clean under them. This can lead to permanent damage, not to mention unnecessary UTI’s. Parents of intact boys are having to send information to their boys’ daycares in fear they will damage their sons, due to the vast amount of ignorance in today’s society regarding the foreskin.

Most of the girls of this generation wouldn’t recognize an intact erect penis if they saw one, but many of these sexually active females will shun a man if they admit they aren’t circumcised. Other men will pull back their foreskins to hide them from their lovers, so they won’t be shunned (yes, it is possible for a man to fool a woman in this way, especially since so many women are ignorant of what the foreskin is). These girls ARE ignorant, and they will eventually grow up and might eventually realize their mistake. A man should not be judged by his foreskin status, and it should definitely not be a prerequisite of dating them.

So let’s go back to a man/woman on twitter telling an intactivist that it isn’t her/his business what is done to someone else’s baby. If that same person had proof that someone was beating their child, should they mind their own business, or call child services? If you knew a child’s life was in danger, would you mind your own business, or would you call the police? We intactivists know that a baby could die, or suffer from severe complications from this sexual child abuse, so we get involved and try to stop it. The same as we would if we thought a parent was beating that child or trying to kill him.

Another way it is our business is that the more ignorant people who continue to think it is their choice to have their innocent sons cut and mutilated, the longer the ignorance will exist in the medical community about the proper intact care and importance of the foreskin. Which will result in more and more intact boys being harmed during their doctor well visits. This will also perpetuate to future generations of women thinking there is something wrong with intact men, not to mention affecting other parents’ children who will someday become your son’s spouse. Doesn’t that person have the right to be with a whole man, not one who had something very important taken away from him solely because his parents refused to listen to the facts?

So the next time any of you pro-cutters mouth off to an intactivist that it isn’t any of our business, now you know why we know it IS our business!

Idiot’s Guide to Circumcision (or Circumcision for Dummies)

Honestly, there are idiot guides to everything else under the sun, so why not circumcision (AKA circ and cut)?  There are obviously people who are still totally in the dark about this ancient barbaric practice, so why not?  Probably because it would cause the medical profession to lose all the money it makes from strapping down baby boys and chopping off nearly half (or more) of the skin of their penises.  I have written several articles regarding this controversial (yes, amazingly controversial) topic, including one on debunking the myth that it’s just a snip of skin.

I recently read an article that was linked on Facebook from the group, Saving our Sons, which detailed a new mom’s nightmarish encounter with almost losing her son due to a botched circumcision (I’ve read so many of these stories lately).  Not only that, but he is forever maimed and probably won’t ever be able to enjoy physical intimacy.  There are so many bad things that can happen due to being cut.  The least of which is less sensitivity, and the worst is death, but there are many degrees of awful between those two extremes. One is what happened to that woman’s son.

The incompetent doctor cut all the shaft skin instead of the “normal” amount they remove.  The poor kid nearly bled to death until a surgeon finally had to sew the glans to the base to prevent anymore loss of blood.   Of course this required two more corrective surgeries when the boy became a toddler.  Even still, you have to imagine this boy no longer has any of the nerve enriched skin, so it is doubtful he will ever receive any pleasure from sex.  And supposedly this happened after the new mom was told something so awful, it convinced her that her son would hate her if she didn’t have him cut.  So a woman who proclaims to have been against cutting changed her mind due to one idiotic person.  But the question remains, who was the bigger idiot? The person who told her such nonsense or her for believing it?  Can I get a show of hands?

Her story made me feel sick.  I couldn’t feel sorry for her. She did the research and knew it was wrong. She didn’t even have the guts to reveal what she was told, merely that it still haunted her.  Of course it did, because her decision has doomed her son to a celibate life, not to mention the possibility of more corrective surgeries to fix something that should never have been done.  Will her story save other new moms from doing the same thing to their boys? Maybe, but maybe not.  This woman did the research, and yet she still let some stranger with a knife near her innocent baby.  I didn’t even know as much then as I do now, when I told the doctor I didn’t want my son cut.  I knew idiotic women who told me that they would never be with a man who was intact.  I didn’t care about their opinions, because I had those same feelings when I was younger.  I was brainwashed into thinking all men should be cut.  I believed it should be done, and that it was neater and more attractive.  Well, I’ll tell you what. After changing and cleaning my intact son now for almost three years, I think his little winky is the cutest one I’ve ever seen.  I would physically do damage to anyone who tried to mutilate that perfect little thing (well, one day it won’t be so little :))  and damn the consequences.

For all of you who continue to believe the hype that cutting reduces the risk of getting STDs and HIV. Here’s a new flash: it’s  total bull.  Only abstinence and condoms prevent that.  I know plenty of people who have acquired STDs from their cut boyfriends.  And since America has the highest rate of cut men as well as the highest rate for HIV, where is the correlation? If we hardly have any intact men, then who is getting HIV?  That’s right, the circumcised men.  It’s simple math, people.

The study in Africa supposedly showing a decrease in HIV from those who were cut?  Well, can any of you men imagine wanting to have sex after you’ve just had half your dick cut off? Those studies didn’t take into account the healing time, which would affect those men’s sex drives.  I think it takes about 6 weeks for a man to fully heal from having his foreskin chopped off.  Don’t quote me on that, since I didn’t check, but common sense tells you that they weren’t out there having sex right after the surgery.  And from what I’ve read recently, the rate of HIV is now increasing for those cut men.  Yep, because they’ve now had plenty of time to heal and jump back into the fray. Afterall, they are so ignorant they believe that since they’ve been cut they no longer need to use condoms. They believe the hype that circ’d men don’t need to use them.  I still don’t understand how that myth even got started.  Besides all that nonsense, let’s go back to cutting baby boys.  From what I understand not too many infants are out there having sex, so that supposed “benefit” is moot.

And though I’ve avoided discussing the religious aspects, I won’t hold back anymore.  Adults pick their religions, not children.  To force your son to make a pact with a God he knows nothing about is wrong.  Let him decide when he’s older if he wants to make such a personal and intimate pact. Maybe he will follow a different path.   For those who refer to the old testament of the Bible, where it allegedly says God wants all boys to be mutilated on the 8th day of their life, SO WHAT?  There are plenty of things in the Bible that are morally wrong, like girls having sex with their fathers.  Do you support that too, since it is in the Bible?

It all boils down to a human right’s issue, and babies are humans. They have a right to bodily integrity, and no parent (or doctor) should have the right to remove a fully functioning organ. Yes, the foreskin is an organ. Don’t believe me?  Look it up.  After all, don’t you know what the biggest organ is in the human body?  Yep, it’s our skin.  And for those who say that only internal organs count, at least half of the foreskin IS an internal organ. “The intact penis has a glans penis that is an internal organ,” quoted from doctorsopposingcircumcision.org (see link at bottom of page).

For those who think that babies can’t remember what was done to them, there can be psychologic complications:

The patient has experienced, according to experts, “excruciating pain, the perinatal encoding of his brain with violence, an interruption of maternal-infant bonding, the betrayal of infant trust, and must suffer the risks and effects of permanently altered normal genitalia. In addition, he has lost his basic human right to a sexually intact and functional body.” Milos MF, Macris D. Circumcision: a medical or human rights issue? J Nurse-Midwifery. http://www.cirp.org/library/ethics/milos-macris/

Just because we’ve done it for hundreds or even thousands of years does not make it right.  We used to stone people.  We used to burn people at the stake if we thought they were witches. We used to think that leeches cured fever.  We are supposed to be more enlightened.  So how come we still practice this ancient barbaric ritual?

Oh, and one last thing I should mention.  Many people who are in support of routine infant circumcision do so because it is their sexual fetish. They are turned on by the idea of someone inflicting pain on a baby’s genitals.  Don’t believe me again?  Well, this time I did the research for you, http://circleaks.org/index.php?title=Circumfetish, as well as  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djiTpV__qR4. Be sure to check out the reference links given near the bottom of the circleaks.org page!!  Do you want to be in the same camp as these perverts?  Here’s another news flash for you.  Some doctors who perform circumcisions ARE circumfetishists.  So before you hand your baby over to someone willing to chop off his foreskin, ask yourself if he could be one of them.  They are able to handle a baby’s penis and abuse it without fear of reprisal.  How is this not a problem for everyone?

Hopefully this Idiot’s Guide to Circumcision will shed some light for those of you looking for answers.  Unfortunately, for every article written against cutting, there is one written saying how wonderful it is.  Just question anyone’s motives when he/she tells you that you should intentionally inflict pain and abuse on your baby son. He was born with it for a reason. It does not cease to be important once your son is born.  It will benefit him his whole life, and it is incredibly easy to clean.  So for those other idiots who say it stinks?  Take a damn shower!! It’s called soap and does amazing things to dirt and grime.  Just imagine our fingernails if we never cleaned under them.  I suppose they should be removed at birth too?  How about behind our ears?  That can get pretty nasty without proper cleaning. Should we slice those off too to avoid the trouble?  Do you see where I’m going with this?  Stop missing the forest for the trees (or rather stop throwing the baby out with the bathwater), and take your whole baby home from the hospital.  If you truly feel he was perfect the way he was born, then PROVE it!

Oh, there is one last thing I’d like to add. I recently read an account of a man who had a circumcision in his 20’s. He apparently had a tight frenulum, so an erection was uncomfortable for him. Instead of fixing the problem, he had his entire frenulum cut off as well as getting circumcised. Reading his account literally made me sick to my stomach, but it did remind me of something very important. When a baby is circumcised, he cannot tell the doctor how much of his foreskin to remove. The doctors usually remove all of the loose skin. When an adult male has a circumcision, he is free to tell his doctor how much or little to remove. So if a man is born with an overly long foreskin or a tight frenulum, he can choose to have some of the foreskin removed or have his frenulum fixed. There is no such civility for a newborn baby. Just another reason why routine infant circumcision is WRONG!!

Further reading: Foreskin facts & Doctors opposing circumcision