I unwittingly came across another lame excuse new parents use for circumcising their baby boys. Unfortunately, this one came from someone I actually know IRL. Suffice to say we are no longer friends.
9) With all the bullying in high school and teenage suicides running rampant, I refuse to paint a bulls-eye on my son’s forehead.
It’s amazing how this kind of thing can escalate. I innocently posted a few links on her FB wall a few days ago, merely telling her that I didn’t know what she had decided but that she shouldn’t think it had to be done, and that maybe the links would help. That was it. She either hid or deleted the links, since they were off her page a few hours later, but she didn’t say anything to me. I didn’t post anything else on her wall, and I thought it was over with. Today, she posted some nasty comment about how she was amazed how people could be so blind about real issues with our society. I didn’t know if she meant me, so I vaguely responded, “Yeah, and it’s worse when people turn a blind eye to issues that are easily avoided.” After all, I didn’t want to rock the boat if she was talking about something else. Thing is, she was talking about me, and immediately responded with #9 above.
I was taken aback, but before I could even respond, one of her other friends jumped in and commented how this yet to be born baby boy wouldn’t have to worry about killing himself when he was 15 or being a 40 year old virgin or looking on youtube for a video on how to give himself a circumcision. My blood started to heat at this point, and I hadn’t said anything about circumcision yet (other than the two links I posted a few days ago). Apparently, these two very ignorant girls (barely out of high school) must have been talking about my links and were stewing about it over the last few days. I responded that at least if a teenager decided he wanted a circumcision, it was his choice since his parents didn’t take that choice away from me. At this point I was called a “damn liberal”. The mom to be then posted a very long comment that I stopped reading less than half way through, but it basically said she thought it was gross not to do it, and that she thought it was ugly if it wasn’t done, and that with all the bullying in school, he would be picked on, and that it happened at her school, blah blah blah. I told her that fewer parents were cutting their boys now, so that it was entirely possible that her son would be picked on because she cut him, and I reminded her that she had met my intact son, and did she really think he had a bulls-eye on his forehead. Does she honestly think her son will be spared bullying and/or suicide if she circumcises him? If she had done research, she would find the many boys out there who contemplate suicide because they were circumcised. It just boggles the mind what people come up with to justify this horrible abuse to their baby boys.
Anyway, this nonsense went back and forth until the other gal jumped in and told me it was one thing to have an opinion but another to force my view down someone’s throat, which I never did. I told both of them that I would never bring it up to either of them again, especially the pregnant one, since it would be too upsetting to know that she was so ignorant and refused to do the research. I then unfriended both of them and will never speak to either again.
What did I learn from this? That I will keep my intactivism online with ignorant people I do not know. It is a whole other beast when dealing with people you know and consider friends. Because I can never be friends with either of those gals again. How could I, when they think my son is gross and ugly?
Ignorance among the closest to you is always the most difficult to swallow. I have plenty of pro-circers (and I mean PRO, not neutral/uninformed/open to information) in my circle, and I just do the best to provide the facts and if they want to bite they can, they know where to find my blog. The best response I have found is turning it into a conversation about female genital cutting.
For example: I couldn’t cut my son because it’s illegal to cut my daughter. I wouldn’t want my daughter to feel left out when she learned her foreskin/genitals had remained intact but her brother’s were able to be fixed into something more desirable. After all, that labia minora is quite unsightly and harbors all sorts of bacteria leading to UTIs and puts her at higher risk of HIV. It just didn’t seem fair to remove that risk for my son but not my daughter, so they’re both going to have to learn how to bathe properly and practice safe sex.
It’s interesting that you should mention trying to turn it into a convo about FGM. Someone tried to do that in one of the FB threads I started, and one of my closest friends called her stupid. I told her that it was sad that she thought we are stupid. When she realized I agreed with what the other gal said, she immediately back pedaled and said she’d never judge me, but it definitely didn’t work. Instead of realizing the two situations were similar, she just thought it was stupid. They can’t get past the thought that we are judging what they did to their sons, instead of realizing we are merely trying to stop the cycle of abuse. They did what they thought was OK. I don’t judge my mother and sister, who circ’d their boys, so I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone else. I only find it unacceptable when people are informed of how awful it is NOW but still do it. There is a major difference there that they just choose to ignore.
Penis reduction or “snipping” as they like to refer to ric as ALTERS permanently, A BABIES LIFE and HAS KILLED THOUSANDS. RIP from me to all the dear LITTLE BABIES this costs the US..
HOW IS IT LEGAL TO CUT BABIES GENITAL SKIN OFF? An infant can’t consent to this traumatic unecessary mutilation and that alone should end the controversy right there – with no further ado. They don’t even do that PUNISHMENT to murderers (or maybe they did at their birth?) A baby CAN’T CONSENT. but he SURE AS HELL CAN OBJECT SCREAMING AND CRYING FOR HIS LIFE. I am not judging mothers or sisters or EVEN any body WHO OKS THIS, . I am not even judging the victims who WOULD robotically CUT part of babies healthy genitals off. I am just saying I would report the crime to everybody in the world who stands for human rights if I ever witnessed SUCH AN attack on a baby. Why would a little guy not have a right to protection at birth? None of the defensive irrelevant arguments have anything to do with a newborn and his rights to a normal healthy life. ALL GENITAL CUTTING on HEALTHY BABIES is MENTAL ILLNESS. The arguments for it are just smokescreens to delay this terrible procedure being seen for what it is, a widespread hoax perpetrated by some sort of mentally ill abusers who must have gotten the same treatment as their victims, and the babys are the victims of the victims. .In other words, it is victims cutting victims cutting victims and it is insanity and I really wish people find a better way to make money than cutting babies skin off. If this isn’t abuse, what is the world coming to? Is a sexual male that much of a threat to BABY snippers? Just for the record, a man with a foreskin is extremely sexy. I haven’t had experience with males lacking a penis foreskin, since I am a little paranoid of males so intimately processed by a less than ethical medical society (the ones who really do this to babies, not good people who oppose it staunchly) . A man robbed of his natural working skin covering on his penis is a victim but if he doesn’t realize it, that is understandable. He also would not know if he was a lobotomy victim either. Im just saying, I am not judging anyone, I just figure my point of view as of a woman who would kill somebody who tried to cut off a substantial part of a baby penis . This however is not about penises as much as it is an infants rights. If you want to skin off the tastebuds on his tongue so he can’t enjoy food, its the same thing.
Baby has a right to enjoy his life. If I offend anyone with serious honesty about the way I feel about child abuse attacking an innocent before he can talk, it wasn’t my intention. I just want to let moms know they don’t have to cut off their babys penis for anybody. First and foremost, mamas babys penis is his, and his alone and his opinion is the only one that counts when a knife is moved near his penis, or any other healthy part of his body. Its really simple. Cutting off baby parts at birth is abnormal and ridiculous.
I’m actually beyond caring if I offend anyone who supports circumcising babies. Yes, cutting off body parts at birth IS abnormal and ridiculous…and it should be criminal…for both sexes!